I'm just not a gracious hostess. And since I was put in charge of keeping a small human alive last March, I feel more entitled than ever to opting out of all the things people not raised by wolves are supposed to do. But my baby is turning 1 next Sunday and suddenly I feel it's of the utmost importance to create a birthday memory that doesn't involve a 5th of liquor wrapped in newspaper and duct tape.
How do babies like to celebrate anyway? Holden's favorite pastimes seem to be getting into the garbage, breaking into cabinets and spreading the contents all over the floor, throwing his food at the dog and pulling my hair. Am I supposed to create a theme based on that? How do you decorate a Schizophrenic Hobo themed cake? Or am I supposed to drop a gang of Jacksons at Party City in exchange for a cart load of pirate or Mickey Mouse or car themed paraphernalia to show all of the adults at the party how much I love my child who will be too busy pulling his socks off every time I put them back on to notice that the napkins and plates match the banner and the balloons?
And then there's creating a guest list. I know I've had a year and 9 months to find some friends with babies, and believe me, I've put in work. See exhibit A: the handful of messages in my Facebook outbox that read something like "Hey I know we haven't talked since junior high but I've always liked you or at least never hated you and I notice from your photos that you have a kid too so, like, do you want to hang out sometime and be mom friends?" So far this strategy has been productive approximately 0% of the time. I do have one friend with a baby, and 2-3 friends who I know don't have a strong aversion to being around my baby, then there's my immediate family...wa-lah, guest list!
So here's a rough idea of what the party is going to be like: cram the baby's 7 supporters into our cluttered 10'x10' living room, invite the people who don't get 1 of the 3 available furniture-seats to sit on the floor, put the baby in the middle, give him a piece of cake, and pretty much let things roll from there. Does this image make me feel like an inadequate mother? Absolutely. Do I have anything else up my sleeve? No.
I haven't even mustered the time/energy combo to send out e-vites. Of course initially I dreamed of creating adorable commemorative customized invitations far in advance, but after spending a nightmarish 30 minutes neglecting my screaming child to surf the web for an invite that didn't make me gag with cutesy-ness I thought "I'll get back to this later." (Screaming solely because I was sitting at the computer, FYI, not pain or danger screams lest you doubt my competency in parenting fundamentals.) Now we're a week away from my theme-less party and all I've done is sent a "hey don't make plans on the 11th" text to 2 people.
Ah, the familiar self-loathing fueled Procrastination Cycle. The more mom guilt momentum I gain in this party planning or lack thereof, the more difficult it becomes to get down to business. How can I plan a party while so deeply immersed in self pity for my condition as a 50 hour week working, craft-inept, genetically ungracious failure of a mother?
Self-deprecation aside, I'm very excited to gather a small group of people who are important to me and who love Holden so that we can revel in his ever-increasing "maturity" and make ridiculously inflated statements about how advanced he is. As every mother for all time who has ever celebrated a child's 1st birthday has said: I can't believe it's been a year! Wow, time flies.
Look forward to a post covering 1st birthday party shenanigans, but expect it to be up to 3 months late and for the pictures to be blurry and off-center in a non-artsy way.
Look forward to a post covering 1st birthday party shenanigans, but expect it to be up to 3 months late and for the pictures to be blurry and off-center in a non-artsy way.
Sebastian's first party was meticulously planned. I spent weeks gluing fucking gumballs to an oatmeal container to make a traditional Korean centerpiece that I was never happy with. (It was super fun to make though, and I plan to make more, but it was still mildly pointless.) I obsessed over a theme and food planning, throwing a little fit when my husband insisted that all-organic and healthy food would make us look snobby and made finger sandwiches with Kraft singles instead. Family and friends came and we had a good time but it didn't actually have much of a 'party' feel at all. The only kids who seemed truly stoked on my party table were some random kids at the park who watched us set up and probably just wanted free food.
ReplyDeleteFast forward to last month when we attended my friend's daughter's third birthday party. There was beer and wine for the adults, and pizza. There was a princess theme but nothing especially cohesive or special, just enough tiaras and whatnot to appease a toddler. It was mostly adults hanging out and chatting (and drinking) and a few kids playing with their goodie bags filled with probably-toxic dollar store toys. And you know what? It felt like a party, and not at all forced. Definitely taught me a lesson for our next get-together. I will always love scoping out decor ideas on Pinterest etc but Sebastian's 2nd Birthday is going to be a lot more balanced, and hopefully a lot more fun.